AMEEEEERRRRRRRRRICA

It’s “America Week” at the AT&T Fun Mall in the Xinyi district of Taipei! In honor of this special time-- which coincides with the anniversary of our Motherland’s founding-- I am devoting this post to all things AMERICA that we’ve come across during our stay. 

Here it is: 

Ten Things from Home You WON’T Miss When You Come to Taipei

#1 American chain restaurants

Some of the places we’ve encountered are pretty standard abroad. We all know that everyone from the French to the Koreans loves McDonald’s. But if you haven’t been to East Asia before, you might be surprised to see Pizza Hut and Dominoes. You also might be surprised that they are actually considered “nice restaurants” here. As in, the servers dress up, the tables are covered in white table cloths, and the guests actually enjoy their eating experience-- and not just because they have the drunk munchies. 

Even more surprising than Pizza Hut and Dominoes? California Pizza Kitchen. I was totally shocked when we saw one in the mall.  Since I’ve never been to one in the States, I might give it a try before we leave. What the hell. It’s gotta be better than Pizza Hut, right?

TGI Fridays was pretty unexpected, too. It’s way more expensive here, plus it's hard to believe that people are willing to pay that much for shitty potato skins and mozzarella sticks. I’m sure the Chinese feel the same way about the pork fried rice at P.F. Changs. 

It was packed when we walked by on a Tuesday night. Where else can you go when you're after that great feeling of your weekend just beginning?

And Ponderosa? Seriously? I thought for sure those were restricted to depressing small towns with disproportionately large elderly populations.

The biggest shocker of all, for me, though? One day I smelled a sweet cakey-creamy smell and, oh-mah-god, I discovered they have Cold Stone Creamery. I definitely thought this place was a purely American phenomenon. Then I did some research and learned that Cold Stones can be found in China, Japan, South Korea, Thailand, Indonesia, Guam, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Bahrain, United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Trinidad, and Kuwait also. I feel so provincial. It turns out that mixing Ice Cream made from 15% butter fat with candy and syrup and then serving it in a waffle bowl is NOT special to the United States. But I guess eating it does still make you feel like a good American. Maybe we’ll get some in honor of the holiday. 

Anyway... by now, I’m convinced you could totally get by in this city without ever eating an Asian-style meal. The following is a list of all the other American chain restaurants-- and I’m using the term “restaurants” loosely-- we have come across so far: 

Subway

Burger King

KFC

Long John Silver’s

Chili’s 

Häagen-Dazs (it sounds European, but that’s just clever marketing. I looked into it.)

#2 Bread for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

You don’t have to worry about leaving the great American Grain Belt when you come to Taipei. There are bread shops on almost every corner selling everything from sweet pastries to (thank god) whole wheat loafs. Taipei-ers seem to eat bread just as often as they do rice, although somehow all the carbs do NOT show. Go figure.

#3 Food shows

America is obsessed with watching people eat food on television. We turned on the tube in our apartment and discovered some familiar faces: Andrew Zimmer (Bizzare Foods), Adam Richman (Man V. Food), Curtis Stone (Take Home Chef) and Anthony Bordane (No Reservations) are on every day. Multiple times. We don’t have a TV in the States, so it’s easy to say we’ve watched wayyyy more American TV here than we ever did at home. 

#4 Watermelon

We met a man in Tamshui who told Mike that he gets the seeds for all the watermelon he grows and sells from the United States. He claimed that our home country had the best-tasting, largest-growing variety. After that, we bought some of his delicious watermelon juice and felt like we were gulping pure Americana! 

#5 Baseball

We've seen a lot of it played in parks outside the city limits. Just like at home, they wear those god awful tight polyester pants despite the horrible summer heat.

  

#6 Cardinal's mania

I thought it surprising when we kept seeing adolescent boys in Cardinal's shirts. Then Mike reminded me that "they're the second-most winning team in baseball" so why wouldn't we see their logos in a baseball-loving city? 

Unlike folks at home, this young man is NOT pissed at Pujols. 

#7 Doggiestyle tunes, fo shizzle

I always feel like shitty American bands get more love in foreign countries than they do at home. I (like many others who've traveled abroad) have heard some baaad familiar songs blasting from clubs, stores, and restaurants in China and in Europe. I remember a tour guide in Germany saying that he loved David Hasselhoff's sound. Weird. But I was very pleasantly surprised when we saw this guy on a street in Da'an! 

Every American who lived through the 90's should have a special place in his/her heart for Snoop Dogg. He is the original suave gangster. 

#8 Smart phones

Is it surprising that IPhones are widely used in the region where they're assembled? I'd say they might be more common here than at home, since almost every person who walks down the street is wielding one. 

#9 White faces

Whether in real life or on a billboard, Caucasians can be seen nearly everywhere you look. 

#10 Stores you're too cheap to shop at

Any high end brand you'd like to waste your money on--Coach, Prada, Gucci, Chanel, you name it--seems to have a flagship in Taipei. I'm not a fan of browsing without spending, so I haven't even looked inside the stores, but they are there. You can't miss them in their prominent locations across the street from Taipei 101.

Finally, one thing you WILL miss if you come to Taipei? Friends and Family. We love you all and can't wait to see you when we get home! Happy 4th of July!